Q. How would you deal with these problems????
Every child misbehaves from time to time. This is always distressing to us as parents because we would all like to be perfect parents of perfect children!
There are many reasons for a child's misbehaviour, and many ways for parents to help the child improve. Difficult behaviour includes:
using bad language,
behaving aggressively or violently,
destroying property,
lying,
stealing,
refusing to cooperate with necessary tasks, such as getting dressed in the morning, going to bed at night or doing school work.
Every child misbehaves from time to time. This is always distressing to us as parents because we would all like to be perfect parents of perfect children!
There are many reasons for a child's misbehaviour, and many ways for parents to help the child improve. Difficult behaviour includes:
using bad language,
behaving aggressively or violently,
destroying property,
lying,
stealing,
refusing to cooperate with necessary tasks, such as getting dressed in the morning, going to bed at night or doing school work.
Answer
Bad language or verbal agression can be dealt with by simply sending the child away until they decide not to continue the undesirable behaviour. Most of my daughter's bad behaviour falls into this category. Children have a right to feel angry and to be upset but not to be aggressive or violent with it. If my daughter is having a tantrum or being rude or whining and has not responded to talking then she goes to her room until she is fit to be around people again. I don't get angry just say 'you can't behave like that when you are with other people. Please go and do it on your own.' This works and is an important lesson about social expectations.
Refusing to do things in the evening is easy to deal with - say after dinner it is either home work time or bed time - your choice. Make sure there is something he or she enjoys after the homework, a game or story so they do not want to miss it. Bedtime is a firm rule. If they really won't stay when you put them there get a lock for the door. If they bounce about and play remove the lightbulb. You will only have to do this once or twice - the message is quite clear. Refusing to do things in the morning before school is more difficult. My daughter watches TV before school, takes a toy to school and has a treat in her lunchbox. These things can be taken away one by one. If it is worse than that talk to the school. My friends som refused to get dressed and the school told her to put him in the car and get him there in his pyjamas - he did not do that again cos the other kids laughed at him and he could not go out and play.
With lying you need to reason a lot and tell stories about the boy who cried wolf and make up some where something bad happened because a child lied. We had this with my daughter and I had her toys act out a scene in which one toy said another toy did something naughty when it was the first toy. The second toy got in trouble and cried and my daughter comforted it and was really indignant. The toys were then not friends any more and the toy that lied was sad. She understood this. You also need to tell them clearly that they get in more trouble for lying about something. When they tell you they broke something they weren't meant to touch say 'Thank you for telling the truth. You will not have any pudding today for breaking that but you will still have your stories because you told the truth.'
Stealing and breaking things is often a sign of psychological problems because this is not normal naughtiness and the first thing to do is talk about it, have them make their toys act things out and try to find the cause and help them with it. If the behaviour continues when the problem is known - a new baby making them seek attantion any way they can or they have fallen out with a friend at school and feel very angry you need to reassure and listen and give them more attention but still give consequences as well as they need boundaries to feel protected and safe. I would punish with the loss of a treat and have a serious talk and the whole story/ acting things out with toys idea and then a more serious punishment and a firm warning that next time a favourite possession of theirs will be stolen or broken. Then I would do that.
That's my thoughts - I am sure many people would do things differently.
Bad language or verbal agression can be dealt with by simply sending the child away until they decide not to continue the undesirable behaviour. Most of my daughter's bad behaviour falls into this category. Children have a right to feel angry and to be upset but not to be aggressive or violent with it. If my daughter is having a tantrum or being rude or whining and has not responded to talking then she goes to her room until she is fit to be around people again. I don't get angry just say 'you can't behave like that when you are with other people. Please go and do it on your own.' This works and is an important lesson about social expectations.
Refusing to do things in the evening is easy to deal with - say after dinner it is either home work time or bed time - your choice. Make sure there is something he or she enjoys after the homework, a game or story so they do not want to miss it. Bedtime is a firm rule. If they really won't stay when you put them there get a lock for the door. If they bounce about and play remove the lightbulb. You will only have to do this once or twice - the message is quite clear. Refusing to do things in the morning before school is more difficult. My daughter watches TV before school, takes a toy to school and has a treat in her lunchbox. These things can be taken away one by one. If it is worse than that talk to the school. My friends som refused to get dressed and the school told her to put him in the car and get him there in his pyjamas - he did not do that again cos the other kids laughed at him and he could not go out and play.
With lying you need to reason a lot and tell stories about the boy who cried wolf and make up some where something bad happened because a child lied. We had this with my daughter and I had her toys act out a scene in which one toy said another toy did something naughty when it was the first toy. The second toy got in trouble and cried and my daughter comforted it and was really indignant. The toys were then not friends any more and the toy that lied was sad. She understood this. You also need to tell them clearly that they get in more trouble for lying about something. When they tell you they broke something they weren't meant to touch say 'Thank you for telling the truth. You will not have any pudding today for breaking that but you will still have your stories because you told the truth.'
Stealing and breaking things is often a sign of psychological problems because this is not normal naughtiness and the first thing to do is talk about it, have them make their toys act things out and try to find the cause and help them with it. If the behaviour continues when the problem is known - a new baby making them seek attantion any way they can or they have fallen out with a friend at school and feel very angry you need to reassure and listen and give them more attention but still give consequences as well as they need boundaries to feel protected and safe. I would punish with the loss of a treat and have a serious talk and the whole story/ acting things out with toys idea and then a more serious punishment and a firm warning that next time a favourite possession of theirs will be stolen or broken. Then I would do that.
That's my thoughts - I am sure many people would do things differently.
how do you think children should spend their free time?
michelle
Some people believe that children are given too much free time.they feel that this time should be used to do more school work . how do you think children should spend their free time?
Answer
It depends on the age of the child.
I think parents today over schedule their kids. Soccer, homework, karate, music lessons, etc. etc. etc.
Kids need to be kids. But that doesn't mean video games and TV, though. Books are good, and kids of most ages should be able to entertain themselves for a while with toys and games they play on their own.
It depends on the age of the child.
I think parents today over schedule their kids. Soccer, homework, karate, music lessons, etc. etc. etc.
Kids need to be kids. But that doesn't mean video games and TV, though. Books are good, and kids of most ages should be able to entertain themselves for a while with toys and games they play on their own.
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