Jessica Vo
When I was little if it wasn't your B-day or Christmas or didn't come from a happy meal we weren't getting any toys. However, some of my daughter (age 4) friends have SO many toys. A ridiculous amount, and they get them pretty much every visit to the store. My nephew (age 9) is the same way and he doesn't even use them. Is this the norm nowadays? My kids usually only get gifts on B-days, Christmas and depending on how they do report cards. I used to do progress reports also until one time my then 8 year old son bought me all A's on his progress report than when his actual report card came out he had an "Unacceptable" in behavior lol. Which I actually found pretty funny.
@Betty white and I am: Lol you guy's are hilarious ahahahah.
@Mike Super Soakers aren't toys. They are necessities lol. We usually get new ones every easter not just for the kids. YOU WANNA GO TO WAR?
Answer
First. My daughter was born at the end of November... so basically she gets some toys for her birthday, and then more on Christmas, or more toys on her birthday and a skimpy Christmas from family. My sister grew up with a birthday like that and resented my June birthday. Well guess what, my son has a June birthday. :/ I don't want her resenting that he gets more toys, no one else but me has a birthday in June so he gets a party to himself (she shares November with 7 others I think at last count...), and it's summer so his party can be a water-gun fight and such.
Secondly, I homeschool with my kids, so if I buy my daughter a puzzle that's not exactly a toy. Neither are most coloring books, crayons, etc. Even things like hotwheel cars become experiments in how things move. Play-doh, especially, is educational. Maybe I'm making excuses here, but if something is bought and I use it educationally then I see it more as a tool than a toy.
Third, when I was growing up in the 80's during the recession we got an allowance and used that to buy toys for ourselves, along with doing chores. My kids are too young for an allowance yet, and when they do I'm not exactly going to hand them money but more help them buy what they want and take it out of a 'fund' that they manage like a checking account. But basically if I spend $4-10 a month on toys then that's about what I'd expect to be spending on allowance ANYWAY (a dollar a week for both, or about $8.)
Fourth, the worst time to buy toys is right before Christmas. The best time to buy toys is after Christmas and during sales. If I find, say, a wooden Cars Puzzle with 4 different scenes in a wooden carrying case for $3 instead of $10, then putting it off until Christmas means it won't be there.
Fifth, Christmas in my house is more about Christ. I actually make my kids wait to open any presents until either the day after Christmas if people are pushy, up until New Years day. I don't want the only times they get new toys to be Christmas and Birthday because it puts a LOT of emphasis on those days better rock and less appreciation for just the one or two presents they may get. My kids typically get 3-7 presents for their birthday, depending on family who comes. I don't want them to start getting "you only brought me a $3 present... gee thanks." because all the emphasis is now on getting toys. Instead, I want them to realize that the party is to celebrate them being born and to have fun, the toys are a bonus and you can always get more toys.
So, basically my kids get toys through the year if it's a good price, teaching them that if there is something you want then watch for it to go on sale and save up for it (they get told if we don't have enough money to buy that right now but will when we save up enough.) My daughter's toys are almost 80% all reused (ie, we find them at garage sales, goodwill, ARC, ebay, etc. Sometimes they're broken and I have to stitch them back together again.) She's 3 and she donates a LOT of toys every year to a Christmas group that gives toys to families with kids at Christmas and they're trying to work up to a birthday fund as well, so if we buy a reused toy, fix it up, and she loves it for a year then donates it... well...
We almost never buy toys at full price though. If it's not on sale then she will agree that we can wait for it to go on sale and watch for it, meanwhile saving up. I like the attitude she's having towards toys right now to be honest, and her excitement about her birthday being more about the type of cake we'll make than the toys she'll get.
First. My daughter was born at the end of November... so basically she gets some toys for her birthday, and then more on Christmas, or more toys on her birthday and a skimpy Christmas from family. My sister grew up with a birthday like that and resented my June birthday. Well guess what, my son has a June birthday. :/ I don't want her resenting that he gets more toys, no one else but me has a birthday in June so he gets a party to himself (she shares November with 7 others I think at last count...), and it's summer so his party can be a water-gun fight and such.
Secondly, I homeschool with my kids, so if I buy my daughter a puzzle that's not exactly a toy. Neither are most coloring books, crayons, etc. Even things like hotwheel cars become experiments in how things move. Play-doh, especially, is educational. Maybe I'm making excuses here, but if something is bought and I use it educationally then I see it more as a tool than a toy.
Third, when I was growing up in the 80's during the recession we got an allowance and used that to buy toys for ourselves, along with doing chores. My kids are too young for an allowance yet, and when they do I'm not exactly going to hand them money but more help them buy what they want and take it out of a 'fund' that they manage like a checking account. But basically if I spend $4-10 a month on toys then that's about what I'd expect to be spending on allowance ANYWAY (a dollar a week for both, or about $8.)
Fourth, the worst time to buy toys is right before Christmas. The best time to buy toys is after Christmas and during sales. If I find, say, a wooden Cars Puzzle with 4 different scenes in a wooden carrying case for $3 instead of $10, then putting it off until Christmas means it won't be there.
Fifth, Christmas in my house is more about Christ. I actually make my kids wait to open any presents until either the day after Christmas if people are pushy, up until New Years day. I don't want the only times they get new toys to be Christmas and Birthday because it puts a LOT of emphasis on those days better rock and less appreciation for just the one or two presents they may get. My kids typically get 3-7 presents for their birthday, depending on family who comes. I don't want them to start getting "you only brought me a $3 present... gee thanks." because all the emphasis is now on getting toys. Instead, I want them to realize that the party is to celebrate them being born and to have fun, the toys are a bonus and you can always get more toys.
So, basically my kids get toys through the year if it's a good price, teaching them that if there is something you want then watch for it to go on sale and save up for it (they get told if we don't have enough money to buy that right now but will when we save up enough.) My daughter's toys are almost 80% all reused (ie, we find them at garage sales, goodwill, ARC, ebay, etc. Sometimes they're broken and I have to stitch them back together again.) She's 3 and she donates a LOT of toys every year to a Christmas group that gives toys to families with kids at Christmas and they're trying to work up to a birthday fund as well, so if we buy a reused toy, fix it up, and she loves it for a year then donates it... well...
We almost never buy toys at full price though. If it's not on sale then she will agree that we can wait for it to go on sale and watch for it, meanwhile saving up. I like the attitude she's having towards toys right now to be honest, and her excitement about her birthday being more about the type of cake we'll make than the toys she'll get.
Do you buy your kids' lots of toys?
Q. I do. I've always read that they learn thorugh playing with toys. I make it into a NECESSITY not a luxury. She is not spoiled but I do buy her Fisher price little people, snuggle kins etc.. My sister is mroe well off than I am and she acts jealous of my kids toys becuase she thinks of them as a luxury and would rather buy stuff for herself (Lately its 100 dollar bottle of some weight loss stuff). So she only takes hand me down toys which she doesnt care if theyre clean/safe etc.. she doesnt even wash them first. Anywy im very annoyed because she came over here making comments that i Must be rich to have so many toys for my kid. It pisses me off becuase im in poverty (literaly below the poverty line) and she is liek middle class.
She wont spend one penny on toys for her kids. If there not for free, she wont get it. then she also puts them all in the closet so that they dont make a "mess' so they kids never get to play with them anyway. so there always getting in trouble then seh yells @ them all day.
She wont spend one penny on toys for her kids. If there not for free, she wont get it. then she also puts them all in the closet so that they dont make a "mess' so they kids never get to play with them anyway. so there always getting in trouble then seh yells @ them all day.
Answer
Your sister sounds as though she needs to get priorities straight. Children's needs come before parent's wants. She sounds lazy. Not because she's buying weight loss gimmicks, although that is a symptom, lol...but because she she doesn't wash the second hand toys before giving them to her kids, won't let them play with the toys because she'll have a mess to clean, and because she yells at them instead of talking to them and explaining why things are the way they are.
That said, buying your kid second hand toys makes good money sense, even for people who have money. Actually, especially for people with money. Ever wonder why they have it? It's because they don't spend it, and when they do it's on something they won't have to throw away in a year. You want to be rich? Do as rich people do. I learned that from my father, who is a Cheapskate to teach all Cheapskate's but has got everything he could possibly want or need and money to boot. He'd rather spend $1500 on one good tv, than $400 several times on crappy tv's that keep breaking.
It's the same concept with toys. Kids grow out of them so quickly it's foolish to spend too much money on them, you're literally throwing it away.
My kids didn't have "tons" of toys, one doll each. They had buckets upon buckets of blocks, hotwheels, k'nex, and little animals from the dollar store. They had puzzles and more BOOKS than they could count. That is where money is well spent. Education & imagination. We bought a lot of board games, even when they were 2 there were games they could play and learn with. They had soccer balls, basketballs, skipping ropes, chalk...outside toys.
Now they're teenagers and don't want everything in sight. They know that what they ask for better be something they really want because Greedy gets nothing, and they'd much rather have a $200 camera than a bunch of little stupid things that amount to $200.
They also work and save to get most of their belongings. We buy them stuff at Christmas and birthdays, but if they want that Wii game that's being released next month they had better find a driveway to shovel and pray for snow.
Toys at their age are not "necessity". They are luxury. That's a lesson that should be instilled at a very early age. They'll appreciate everything they have so much more.
As for the stuff I have bought them....all still being used. They're 14 & 12. What they don't use themselves, my nieces and nephews get lots of use out of when they come over. They don't take a lot of space (and I live in an itty bitty apartment, so I'd notice, lol) so I don't see myself ever getting rid of them (aka, throwing away money).
Quality not quantity.
Your sister sounds as though she needs to get priorities straight. Children's needs come before parent's wants. She sounds lazy. Not because she's buying weight loss gimmicks, although that is a symptom, lol...but because she she doesn't wash the second hand toys before giving them to her kids, won't let them play with the toys because she'll have a mess to clean, and because she yells at them instead of talking to them and explaining why things are the way they are.
That said, buying your kid second hand toys makes good money sense, even for people who have money. Actually, especially for people with money. Ever wonder why they have it? It's because they don't spend it, and when they do it's on something they won't have to throw away in a year. You want to be rich? Do as rich people do. I learned that from my father, who is a Cheapskate to teach all Cheapskate's but has got everything he could possibly want or need and money to boot. He'd rather spend $1500 on one good tv, than $400 several times on crappy tv's that keep breaking.
It's the same concept with toys. Kids grow out of them so quickly it's foolish to spend too much money on them, you're literally throwing it away.
My kids didn't have "tons" of toys, one doll each. They had buckets upon buckets of blocks, hotwheels, k'nex, and little animals from the dollar store. They had puzzles and more BOOKS than they could count. That is where money is well spent. Education & imagination. We bought a lot of board games, even when they were 2 there were games they could play and learn with. They had soccer balls, basketballs, skipping ropes, chalk...outside toys.
Now they're teenagers and don't want everything in sight. They know that what they ask for better be something they really want because Greedy gets nothing, and they'd much rather have a $200 camera than a bunch of little stupid things that amount to $200.
They also work and save to get most of their belongings. We buy them stuff at Christmas and birthdays, but if they want that Wii game that's being released next month they had better find a driveway to shovel and pray for snow.
Toys at their age are not "necessity". They are luxury. That's a lesson that should be instilled at a very early age. They'll appreciate everything they have so much more.
As for the stuff I have bought them....all still being used. They're 14 & 12. What they don't use themselves, my nieces and nephews get lots of use out of when they come over. They don't take a lot of space (and I live in an itty bitty apartment, so I'd notice, lol) so I don't see myself ever getting rid of them (aka, throwing away money).
Quality not quantity.
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