Quick Draw
I'm a nanny for a great 2 1/2 year old boy. His mother is having another baby any day now, and he has been acting angrier and more clingy.
Today he gave me a hug, and said in a very pleasant voice, "I don't like you." And he kept saying it. I wasn't sure how to react so I said, "That isn't very nice. It hurts my feelings when you say that." He obviously does love me, and he didn't say it in a mean voice.
Any advice on what to say/how to react?
Answer
What worked with my toddler when she started saying mean things or was obviously frustrated I would "go with it". I have figured out that asking "why", or saying "that's not nice", just trying to rationalize doesn't work between the ages of 2 and 4.
For example: I wouldn't let her take her toy into preschool with her and she said I wasn't her friend. I said, that makes you angry doesn't it? you really want to take it with you! I would be upset too.
All they can do is agree with you. You have validated their feelings and the whole thing diffuses. This little boy is going through a lot right now. Maybe sitting down with him and acting out with puppets that are angry about a new baby coming or reading a book about a new baby. He is just trying to get a reaction and if you side WITH him he will get it out of his system faster. Good luck!
What worked with my toddler when she started saying mean things or was obviously frustrated I would "go with it". I have figured out that asking "why", or saying "that's not nice", just trying to rationalize doesn't work between the ages of 2 and 4.
For example: I wouldn't let her take her toy into preschool with her and she said I wasn't her friend. I said, that makes you angry doesn't it? you really want to take it with you! I would be upset too.
All they can do is agree with you. You have validated their feelings and the whole thing diffuses. This little boy is going through a lot right now. Maybe sitting down with him and acting out with puppets that are angry about a new baby coming or reading a book about a new baby. He is just trying to get a reaction and if you side WITH him he will get it out of his system faster. Good luck!
Toddler Seperation Anxiety?
J M
I have an almost 4 year old I just placed into a Spring Camp. He did good the first day but every day after that he has been crying and having tantrums. He is only there a half day. I am a SAHM but I am very active with my SAHMs group. He has about 10 friends that he plays with 3-4 times a week plus we stay busy on the weekends.
He is fine when he wakes up in the morning, on the way there, and going up to the door. As soon as he sees the other kids, he is asking me to go home. Of course I know he needs to grow out of it, but does anyone have any advice where I can sort of try to calm him down. There are days where I can hear him screaming all the way to the car. I just feel so bad for him. Its only for a couple more days. I did this to try to prep-him for preschool which he starts in a couple of months.
Experienced advice is greatly appreciated
Answer
I'm a preschool teacher. What I've found works best is when the parents have a set drop off routine. You come in, tell them to have a good day and give hugs and kiss and than leave. The quicker you leave the better for you both. Your child will cry for the first few days (maybe longer), but eventually he'll be used to the routine and before you know it he'll be waving for you to leave. Trust me, this has worked for every child I have seen that used to have the same problems going on. It's when the parents stick around longer to comfort their child that it gets worse. When you stay your child knows he can get you to stay longer by crying and causing a scene so he will do it just to talk you into staying or bringing him back home. Once you follow a routine and leave quickly he will get used to it - trust me. It may be hard to do but it does work best and it will help your son adjust.
Also just some other tips to go along with this - always remind him that you will be there soon to pick him up. Allow him to bring a stuffed animal or cool toy that he can show off to his new friends... you can also tell him that if he's good and goes to camp like a big boy he will get a special treat when you pick him up.
I'm a preschool teacher. What I've found works best is when the parents have a set drop off routine. You come in, tell them to have a good day and give hugs and kiss and than leave. The quicker you leave the better for you both. Your child will cry for the first few days (maybe longer), but eventually he'll be used to the routine and before you know it he'll be waving for you to leave. Trust me, this has worked for every child I have seen that used to have the same problems going on. It's when the parents stick around longer to comfort their child that it gets worse. When you stay your child knows he can get you to stay longer by crying and causing a scene so he will do it just to talk you into staying or bringing him back home. Once you follow a routine and leave quickly he will get used to it - trust me. It may be hard to do but it does work best and it will help your son adjust.
Also just some other tips to go along with this - always remind him that you will be there soon to pick him up. Allow him to bring a stuffed animal or cool toy that he can show off to his new friends... you can also tell him that if he's good and goes to camp like a big boy he will get a special treat when you pick him up.
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