Jamie
How do I manage shopping when I have to grocery shop with them both at the same time. My hubby is going away on work for 4 months and I don't have anyone to help me with them while I do these kinds of errands. * My newborn is in her carrier and my 2 1/2 year old will NOT walk along side of me. What other options do I have?
Thanks to everyone for the great advice, specifically the ones that did not have a comparison story of "I do it so can you" & "No whining please?" I too am a military wife, so I walk beside you, not in front of you or behind. I know what these deployments are like. Whether 4 months or a year. Thanks for the advice! ; )
Answer
Hi! I have a four month old and an 18 month old! My husband is gone sometimes for months with his work. We just moved here to a new place out of state away from relatives and friends, so I am alone.
When I go shopping I put my toddler daughter inside the cart and hand her stuff. The breakable items (like eggs or bread) go on the bottom rack or at the top next to the baby's carrier. If you really don't want to deal with the hassle, then ask a neighborhood kid to watch one or both of them for a couple dollars while your out. I think there are also probably some daycares that can take them at an hourly rate when you register them, but that may cost more than hiring a sitter or neighbor to watch them. Most of my neighbors will watch mine for free, though I always pay them.
I would seriously register my kids with the daycare in any case while your husband is gone. There may be some times when you need to see a doctor for yourself or want to just do something that they can't exactly be brought along. Having back up babysitters are important also in case of emergencies.
Its so hard to shop with two babies, I know, but when shopping day rolls around, have a free schedule. Don't rush yourself. Get all your shopping in for the whole week so you can avoid more inconvenient trips. Another thing it helps save money this way too! If you get a daily newspaper you can also collect coupons for diapers and stuff to save more throughout the week. With my coupons and planning, I am able to save 30% from when I was shopping more frequently without the kids.
Another tip is, have an exact list of items in hand. It just takes longer the other way. Keep lots of crackers, drinks, and a few toys in the diaper bag too.
Get a doublestroller. There are some sit and stand kinds that work fine and also side by side umbrella strollers. It will help you tons when your going anyplace, even to the doctor or whatever. I don't like those baby slings, they hurt my back, so I prefer the cadillac of all strollers, hehe.
If the time comes that you have forgotten something and HAVE to bake a cake for a guest or plan a last minute dinner party and need something, then pack the kids in the doublestroller and use the bottom basket to carry the small (5 or so) items that you need in. Don't go to the hassle of loading them up in the cart for just a few items! Strollers can be really handy at those times.
Carrying a loose toddler can be a real hassle so thats why strollers help a lot. If you decide to take them to a movie, go to a matinee when it is less crowded, don't bring in a stroller but have the carrier. Your toddler will enjoy that time with you. I have done all these things with my kids. Its the only way I survived time apart from my husband.
You can usually take your kids along with you to personal doctor appointments but I wouldn't advise doing it at the dentist or OB GYN check ups. But those don't happen often anyway. While your husband is away be sure to take frequent walks outside with the kids to parks or just for a power walk. The fresh air is good for them and also the exercise is good for you and will give you more energy to cope.
When you have to take a bath and need personal time for yourself, just busy your toddler with an activity in a baby proof room and bring the baby carrier/bouncer next to the tub so that you can watch the baby while you relax. It's tough but you can manage to do all the things you still like to do alone.
Hi! I have a four month old and an 18 month old! My husband is gone sometimes for months with his work. We just moved here to a new place out of state away from relatives and friends, so I am alone.
When I go shopping I put my toddler daughter inside the cart and hand her stuff. The breakable items (like eggs or bread) go on the bottom rack or at the top next to the baby's carrier. If you really don't want to deal with the hassle, then ask a neighborhood kid to watch one or both of them for a couple dollars while your out. I think there are also probably some daycares that can take them at an hourly rate when you register them, but that may cost more than hiring a sitter or neighbor to watch them. Most of my neighbors will watch mine for free, though I always pay them.
I would seriously register my kids with the daycare in any case while your husband is gone. There may be some times when you need to see a doctor for yourself or want to just do something that they can't exactly be brought along. Having back up babysitters are important also in case of emergencies.
Its so hard to shop with two babies, I know, but when shopping day rolls around, have a free schedule. Don't rush yourself. Get all your shopping in for the whole week so you can avoid more inconvenient trips. Another thing it helps save money this way too! If you get a daily newspaper you can also collect coupons for diapers and stuff to save more throughout the week. With my coupons and planning, I am able to save 30% from when I was shopping more frequently without the kids.
Another tip is, have an exact list of items in hand. It just takes longer the other way. Keep lots of crackers, drinks, and a few toys in the diaper bag too.
Get a doublestroller. There are some sit and stand kinds that work fine and also side by side umbrella strollers. It will help you tons when your going anyplace, even to the doctor or whatever. I don't like those baby slings, they hurt my back, so I prefer the cadillac of all strollers, hehe.
If the time comes that you have forgotten something and HAVE to bake a cake for a guest or plan a last minute dinner party and need something, then pack the kids in the doublestroller and use the bottom basket to carry the small (5 or so) items that you need in. Don't go to the hassle of loading them up in the cart for just a few items! Strollers can be really handy at those times.
Carrying a loose toddler can be a real hassle so thats why strollers help a lot. If you decide to take them to a movie, go to a matinee when it is less crowded, don't bring in a stroller but have the carrier. Your toddler will enjoy that time with you. I have done all these things with my kids. Its the only way I survived time apart from my husband.
You can usually take your kids along with you to personal doctor appointments but I wouldn't advise doing it at the dentist or OB GYN check ups. But those don't happen often anyway. While your husband is away be sure to take frequent walks outside with the kids to parks or just for a power walk. The fresh air is good for them and also the exercise is good for you and will give you more energy to cope.
When you have to take a bath and need personal time for yourself, just busy your toddler with an activity in a baby proof room and bring the baby carrier/bouncer next to the tub so that you can watch the baby while you relax. It's tough but you can manage to do all the things you still like to do alone.
Is this normal for a toddler?
Q. I have been babysitting a toddler since june. I met the mother through a mutual friend who moved to my state recently. She has no family here and only has a couple friends. let me tell you a little about this child.
He is now 15 months old. Ive always wondered if he's had some mental issues. Hes been very far behind with milestones. he just mastered walking last month. He only knows how to say Dada. But what i wonder about is why he so reserved and withdrawn. He comes over about 4 times a week for a few hours a day, he screams at the top of his lungs at random! he will be touching a toy, look up, and then scream bloody murder! he will go to a corner and sit for literally hours. he is only quiet when he's on the couch and then he lays down and looks around all day. Ive tried to play with him and give him some mental stimulation (songs, learning cards, ect) but hes not interested in any of it. he is very overweight as well.
a little about the mother: She always holds him. as soon as he makes a peep she will swoop him up and always gives him what he wants. he was holding a sharp pencil and she said "you shouldnt have that!" tried to take it, he screamed and she gave it back. he always puts his head on her sholder like hes going to sleep but it looks like hes about to start crying at any second. she doesnt discipline him at all when he does something bad. she makes excuses for everything! my friend said that when they hang out she never talks to him, or plays with him. she will walk with him outside or hold him all day. he doesnt even know how to sleep on his own because she rocks him to sleep every night.
whats worse is that all she does is criticize me! i have a son 3 months older and he is an average child. playing, always smiling, he has moments with hitting and tantrums, but im always on top of it and we are very proud of how we raise him. but she will call him puny and say hes a problem child and say her son is just cuddly and thats how every child should be. i have never seen a toddler that always wants to be held 24/7. my friends and my kid always want to be down to play and run and explore. I have wondered if he might have autism or something but her doctor says hes a normal kid. i have even suspected abuse by the alcoholic father. he cant even watch his son for a few hours so i have to do it. not that i dont appreciate the paycheck but i still think its weird.
Does anyone have any opinion on this? is this a form of neglect?
I understand that children grow at different rates. And i try not to compare my child to hers. I am concerened because i have NEVER seen a child like this! my mom who was a nurse and had 6 kids was even surprised by him. Our mutal friend is also concerened. we looked up signs of autism and/or abuse in children and some of the signs match up but i am not sure that i should bring it up to her.
im not sure about this doctor either. we had a freak heat wave this summer and i would ask his mom every day if she brought him water and she said, our doctor said dont give him water. and he wont be thirsty. i was like, what?! are u never thristy?!
i am being judgmental because abuse has crossed my mind several times. i am not sure if he is just a slow developer or if this is something serious that should be addressed.
He is now 15 months old. Ive always wondered if he's had some mental issues. Hes been very far behind with milestones. he just mastered walking last month. He only knows how to say Dada. But what i wonder about is why he so reserved and withdrawn. He comes over about 4 times a week for a few hours a day, he screams at the top of his lungs at random! he will be touching a toy, look up, and then scream bloody murder! he will go to a corner and sit for literally hours. he is only quiet when he's on the couch and then he lays down and looks around all day. Ive tried to play with him and give him some mental stimulation (songs, learning cards, ect) but hes not interested in any of it. he is very overweight as well.
a little about the mother: She always holds him. as soon as he makes a peep she will swoop him up and always gives him what he wants. he was holding a sharp pencil and she said "you shouldnt have that!" tried to take it, he screamed and she gave it back. he always puts his head on her sholder like hes going to sleep but it looks like hes about to start crying at any second. she doesnt discipline him at all when he does something bad. she makes excuses for everything! my friend said that when they hang out she never talks to him, or plays with him. she will walk with him outside or hold him all day. he doesnt even know how to sleep on his own because she rocks him to sleep every night.
whats worse is that all she does is criticize me! i have a son 3 months older and he is an average child. playing, always smiling, he has moments with hitting and tantrums, but im always on top of it and we are very proud of how we raise him. but she will call him puny and say hes a problem child and say her son is just cuddly and thats how every child should be. i have never seen a toddler that always wants to be held 24/7. my friends and my kid always want to be down to play and run and explore. I have wondered if he might have autism or something but her doctor says hes a normal kid. i have even suspected abuse by the alcoholic father. he cant even watch his son for a few hours so i have to do it. not that i dont appreciate the paycheck but i still think its weird.
Does anyone have any opinion on this? is this a form of neglect?
I understand that children grow at different rates. And i try not to compare my child to hers. I am concerened because i have NEVER seen a child like this! my mom who was a nurse and had 6 kids was even surprised by him. Our mutal friend is also concerened. we looked up signs of autism and/or abuse in children and some of the signs match up but i am not sure that i should bring it up to her.
im not sure about this doctor either. we had a freak heat wave this summer and i would ask his mom every day if she brought him water and she said, our doctor said dont give him water. and he wont be thirsty. i was like, what?! are u never thristy?!
i am being judgmental because abuse has crossed my mind several times. i am not sure if he is just a slow developer or if this is something serious that should be addressed.
Answer
He is bound to be overweight if he as only just starting walking, my son didn't walk until he was 18 months and was fat but he slimmed down after he starting walking, I don't think a child under the age of 2 can actually be purposefully naughty they are just learning and may appear mischievous, I also don't think a child can be given too many cuddles but he does need stimulation from play and conversation, have you tried giving him younger toys for his age, does he have his own toys which he likes to play with, it seems bizarre that she is critical of your parenting if she pays you to take care of her son, if he has been checked by a doctor and he is not concerned I wouldn't worry too much some children do develop at different rates
He is bound to be overweight if he as only just starting walking, my son didn't walk until he was 18 months and was fat but he slimmed down after he starting walking, I don't think a child under the age of 2 can actually be purposefully naughty they are just learning and may appear mischievous, I also don't think a child can be given too many cuddles but he does need stimulation from play and conversation, have you tried giving him younger toys for his age, does he have his own toys which he likes to play with, it seems bizarre that she is critical of your parenting if she pays you to take care of her son, if he has been checked by a doctor and he is not concerned I wouldn't worry too much some children do develop at different rates
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