Alison W
my friend bails and lies to me all the time. she cancels plans last minutes. and blames everything on her parents divorce. so thats why ive been talking behind her back.she found out and now we arent friends. ive been feeling guilty about it and i feel like a bad person. but i dont know if i even want to be friends with her anymore. whos fault is it? who should say sorry?
Answer
Both should say sorry but the chances of your friend saying sorry may not be forthcoming. Be realistic that she may never. Unfortunately, your friend has used her parents' divorce as a crutch instead of allowing herself to grow, she has chosen to allow herself to atrophy. Atrophy of any muscles become useless. Eventually, you have to let go of the crutch and do the hard work to make it develop. Granted it is painful, but the rewards could be awesome.
Perhaps you should apologize by stating, "I am sorry I spoke bad about you behind your back. That was wrong of me, but I am very frustrated by you constantly cancelling plans we make as I get excited we are going to do things together and then get so very disappointed when you don't make it. I miss our old friendship. I am sorry about your parents. I am sure it sucks for you, but you can't let your parents' mistake to define your happiness. Only you can. Let me help you remember life can still be fun and no matter what, the next plan we make together, I will come and drag you by your hair and I don't care if your even naked, you are still going out with me!" Say something like that with a smile and a giggle and see if that will help.
Also, no more talking behind people's back. Sometimes a frank conversation with honesty can clear many misunderstandings. There may be more going on with her cancellations, try to find out what is going on deeper in her world if she will let you. If she declines, respect it and just let her know you are there.
Sometimes, friends do grow in different directions. That is OK too and try not to look at how the friendship ended but how the friendship you had enriched your life and made you today!
Good luck and I do hope it works out for you
Both should say sorry but the chances of your friend saying sorry may not be forthcoming. Be realistic that she may never. Unfortunately, your friend has used her parents' divorce as a crutch instead of allowing herself to grow, she has chosen to allow herself to atrophy. Atrophy of any muscles become useless. Eventually, you have to let go of the crutch and do the hard work to make it develop. Granted it is painful, but the rewards could be awesome.
Perhaps you should apologize by stating, "I am sorry I spoke bad about you behind your back. That was wrong of me, but I am very frustrated by you constantly cancelling plans we make as I get excited we are going to do things together and then get so very disappointed when you don't make it. I miss our old friendship. I am sorry about your parents. I am sure it sucks for you, but you can't let your parents' mistake to define your happiness. Only you can. Let me help you remember life can still be fun and no matter what, the next plan we make together, I will come and drag you by your hair and I don't care if your even naked, you are still going out with me!" Say something like that with a smile and a giggle and see if that will help.
Also, no more talking behind people's back. Sometimes a frank conversation with honesty can clear many misunderstandings. There may be more going on with her cancellations, try to find out what is going on deeper in her world if she will let you. If she declines, respect it and just let her know you are there.
Sometimes, friends do grow in different directions. That is OK too and try not to look at how the friendship ended but how the friendship you had enriched your life and made you today!
Good luck and I do hope it works out for you
Why is saying "SORRY" not enough?
Q. When people say sorry to other people for doing things wrong they say "Sorry isn't enough",I mean, What else do they want!?
Answer
Saying sorry is expected from a person who has said or done something wrong to another. Some are sincere and really do mean it but some just say it for the sake of saying it.
Its really the actions that follow after one has said sorry that would really make things 'right' and 'enough'.
Saying sorry is expected from a person who has said or done something wrong to another. Some are sincere and really do mean it but some just say it for the sake of saying it.
Its really the actions that follow after one has said sorry that would really make things 'right' and 'enough'.
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